I'm Not a Princess (This Ain't a Fairy Tale)
by The Dread Pirate Jones
Summary: Working for Disney as the beloved Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, Emma Swan and Killian Jones should be living a dream come true. But their lives are not fairy tales… or so they thought. Fluffy AU with a Disney World Twist. Originally posted on Tumblr.


A/N: I apologize to any Disney Cast Members for any inaccuracies. I've obviously taken certain liberties with this story. This first chapter is long for me (over 2,500 words) because I wanted to introduce all the main characters up front. Also, if Chapter 1 is too Disney heavy for your tastes, fear not! The other chapters are not quite as "in-your-face" with regard to the Mouse.

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Chapter 1

Emma assumed that it was going to be just another uneventful day working at Walt Disney World. Well… she was wrong.

The morning started out rather uneventful. A little girl was anxiously waiting in line to meet Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Then, when it was finally her turn, she became apprehensive, hiding behind her father. So, the father crouched down to his daughter's level and whispered words of encouragement in her ear. After she calmed down, he gently lead her towards Emma and Killian.

"Hi, Rapunzel," the girl whispered shyly. Emma noticed that she wore a purple gown that was almost identical to her own. In addition, the girl's light brown hair was styled in a French braid and sprinkled with glitter. These were clear indications that the girl had received a makeover at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.

Emma smiled kindly, "Hello, Princess. I _love_ your dress." She placed her finger on her mouth as if she were just discovering their uncanny similarity. Then, she turned to Killian and tapped his shoulder excitedly, "Look, Eugene! We're twins!"

"So you are!" he replied, wrapping his right arm around Emma's waist. A tingling sensation rippled through her. The skin beneath her dress where Killian's hand lingered was covered with goosebumps. That was strange. Even in-character, Killian had never had that kind of effect on her before.

She was supposed to say something to him, anything really. But, Emma was shocked silent. Killian glanced at her, concern in his eyes, then turned to the young girl, and asked, "And what's your name, twin of my dear Rapunzel?" Thank God he could carry the conversation on his own quite effortlessly.

The girl perked up, slowly coming out of her shell, and she replied quite matter-of-factly, "I'm Grace, and I'm five years old. Do I really look like Rapunzel?" Grace's mouth fell open in awe. Although Emma was a cynic, she secretly loved moments like these where they had the opportunity to "make magic" for young guests. Not that she would ever admit that under any circumstances. After all, she had a reputation to uphold.

"Of course. In fact, I'd wager that one day, you might outshine my wife with your natural charm." He flashed her his signature 'Flynn Rider smolder,' causing the girl to giggle. A handful of mothers (and even a few fathers) who were watching the interaction sighed dreamily. Killian's eyes gleamed with mirth, engrossed in the effect he had on the crowd. Oh, it was so on. In retaliation, Emma pushed her counterpart with all of her strength, and admonished him with a sharp, " _Eugene!_ "

Killian yelped in surprise at the force of the push. Then, in an attempt to save face, he gave her an extravagant apology in classic Flynn Rider fashion. Bowing contritely, he pleaded, "Apologies, Rapunzel. You are my one and only true love. The beauty of another will never lessen my affection for you." Emma swore she heard someone in the crowd whisper, "Wow, he's so charming!"Fine. Point 1 to Killian.

"Apology accepted, Eugene," Emma answered politely. "Mr. Grace's Father, sir!" She called out, "Would you like to take a portrait of your daughter with Eugene and me using your whosie-whatsit?" The man looked at her confused, so Emma pointed at the Nikon camera hanging around his neck. Rapunzel would not know what a camera was, so Emma had to come up with 'cutesy' names for it. Sometimes, it was funny. This time, it was just awkward.

Grace's father nodded in understanding, "Yes, I've taken a few candid pictures, but I would like to take a few staged ones as well." He paused for a moment, and grinned mischievously, "Oh, and please call me Jefferson, Princess Rapunzel. Mr. Grace's Father is my father's name. No… wait. That doesn't work at all, does it, daughter mine?" He winked at his daughter, obviously impressed by his own humor.

Grace, however, looked mortified, "Daddy, _please_. No silly Dad Jokes. You're embarrassing me in front of _Flynn Rider_!" Emma had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. She looked to Killian to help her keep it together, but he was no help at all. His eyes were wide, and a single tear fell down his cheek. He was going to break. It was up to her to salvage everything. Oh, no.

Emma dug her fingernails into her palm. The slight pain would allegedly help her to regain focus. Mary Margaret told her about this trick after she almost broke character in front of hundreds of guests during the afternoon parade. In her defense, it was a pretty hilarious sight. A mischievous toddler had escaped from his mother, and he decided he didn't like the constraint of his diaper. So, he ripped it off and threw it in the face of a poor, unsuspecting elderly woman in a wheelchair. Then, he started running around in circles, naked from the waist down, screaming, "Nakey Jakey! Nakey Jakey!"

"Okay, how should I pose, Grace?" Emma asked the young girl. Mary Margaret's trick worked. She was back in-character and ready to save the moment. "I can do Eugene's smolder," She pursed her lips into a duck face, which earned her a few chuckles from the crowd. "I can do a Princess pose," She clasped her hands together, tilted her head, and smiled – a classic. "Or, I can do a fish," She puffed out her cheeks and pretended her hands were gills. Emma called that her goofball Rapunzel look.

Grace paused for a moment, considering each option, and then declared proudly, "Princess pose! We'll both do the Princess pose since we're twins. Flynn can do his smolder," she blushed after saying his name.

"Your wish is our command, Princess Grace," Emma and Killian said in unison. They turned toward each other in genuine surprise. That was completely unintentional, but the crowd loved it. Someone shouted, "Great minds think alike, eh Flynn?" That unnerved Emma. She and Killian were like night and day. They weren't actually soulmates. But, she buried those thoughts for later; she had a job to do. Emma posed to Grace's right, and Killian to Grace's left. After several clicks of his camera, Jefferson announced that he had the perfect shot.

"Grace, honey, we have lunch reservations for the Crystal Palace in twenty minutes. Say thank you to Flynn and Rapunzel!" The girl pouted for a moment, but after a reminder that Winnie the Pooh and his friends would be there, she perked up, "Okay, Daddy! Rapunzel, do you mind if I go see Tigger now?"

Oh, what a sweetheart. Most children were too excited to even say goodbye, let alone consider her feelings. Emma shook her head, "Of course not, Grace! Have a wonderful lunch with Mr. Jefferson. Oh, and give Tigger a hug for me!" Grace skipped over to her father, who embraced her in a hug. Emma overheard her begging, "Daddy, can we please just stay for five more minutes?" For a moment, he looked as if he would say no, but surprisingly, he nodded his consent.

"Alright, folks!" May Lin, their Character Attendant, interjected. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but Rapunzel and Flynn have to leave now. They have a lunch date at the Snuggly Duckling with Maximus and Pascal. Don't worry, though! They'll be back here at the same time tomorrow!" A few grumbles of disappointment erupted from the crowd. But, a surprising majority of the people were quite understanding. After all, it was noon, and the cast had been doing meet and greets since 9:00 that morning.

Just as Killian was about to commence their humorous farewell bit, a middle aged man came barreling through the crowd. He was waving a receipt above his head like a wild man, bellowing, "Hey! Diamond, Emerald, Pearl… whatever the Hell your name is!" Ruby? He must have meant Ruby. "I tried to get a 5x7 print of my granddaughter with those fools, but it costs $13 for one photo! How preposterous! Do you make a habit of ripping people off, you Con Artist?"

Ruby, the PhotoPass Photographer, resisted the urge to scowl. She took a deep breath, and responded calmly, "I thought I clarified the price range for PhotoPass prints. Sir, I am so sorry for the miscommunication." That was a lie. Ruby told everyone that prints of her photographs could cost anywhere from $13 to $30. Omitting this from her spiel would have resulted in a reprimand from her manager. This guest either wasn't listening, or he was trying to hustle her for a lower price.

Nevertheless, she smiled brightly, and continued, "But we're in luck! I think Rapunzel and Flynn have just enough time to take another picture with your granddaughter. This time, I can take the picture with your camera. Or cell phone. Or tablet. Whatever you have, I'll figure it out." Ruby turned to Emma and Killian, her eyes pleading for one of them to intervene before the guest did something that would warrant a call to Security.

Killian picked up on her nonverbal cue, and nodded his head in agreement, "Of course! Bring the young princess forward! I am in no hurry to spend my afternoon with Maximus and Pascal. They're not my biggest fans, if you know what I mean," he winked at a group of teenagers, all of whom squealed at the unexpected attention.

Emma just rolled her eyes, "Don't be silly! Maximus was the Best Man at our wedding. And Pascal was the Flower Girl. Of course they love you!" She turned to the unruly guest and added, "Oh, and we'd be delighted to take another picture with your granddaughter."

The man raised his left arm, silencing everyone, "Drop the act. I'm not one of those naïve kindergarteners," he said, pointing contemptuously at the children around him. "I only have a flip phone, and it doesn't take decent pictures." He turned to Ruby accusingly, "Who's your manager? I'm reporting you for trying to scam me."

"Excuse me, sir," Jefferson interrupted, "But I'm actually a professional photographer," he pulled a business card out of his pocket and offered it to the obnoxious man. "Name's Jefferson March. I own March Madness Photography. I took several pictures of your granddaughter while I was waiting in line. You see, I wanted to get a feel of the scene before I took pictures of my daughter, Grace. Your granddaughter's quite photogenic. Here, let me show you." With every click of Jefferson's camera, the man's anger seemed to diffuse.

"Those are good pictures," he admitted reluctantly. "Alright, how much do you want for them? I'm a District Attorney, so don't even think about trying to con me."

Jefferson shook his head, "Please, it's free of charge. We're on vacation, after all. You have my card. I always say that free advertising is the best compensation. What's your email address? I'll send the pictures to you by the end of the week."

"AlbertSpencer . No spaces." Emma resisted the urge to snort. Of course Albert the Asshole would still use AOL mail when it's the 21st Century."I await your correspondence. Don't take me for a fool. I have your card and I'm not afraid to report you to the Better Business Bureau." Albert sauntered off, and Ruby exhaled in relief.

"What an ass… pardon me. I mean _rude_ man," Jefferson muttered. "Gracie, please give me a good kick in the butt if I ever become that insufferable." Emma shared that sentiment. People like Albert Spencer, who intentionally ruin the magic for the children, deserved a lifetime ban from all Disney Parks.

"Okay, Daddy." Grace answered, her brow furrowed in confusion, "What does insufferable mean?"

Ruby laughed, "It means he's too much to handle, sweetie." She turned to Jefferson, "Thank you so much, sir. You saved me from a very difficult situation. I wish I could repay you for your kindness. Normally, I would give you a voucher for complimentary PhotoPass prints. But you're a professional photographer, so that's not much of a gift at all," and she shrugged her shoulders awkwardly.

Jefferson waved her off, "Think nothing of it, ma'am. You must have said, 'Prints of my photographs cost anywhere from $13 to $30' a hundred times. We all heard it. _He_ was trying to scam _you_. It was my pleasure to help. Besides, I have to set a good example for my Grace here," and he ruffled the young girl's hair, much to Grace's chagrin.

Killian's eyes widened in realization. Emma knew that look – he just came up with a brilliant idea. He gave her a 'just follow my lead' look, and she nodded in understanding. "Hey, Rapunzel," he said casually, "Jefferson here is a true hero. He saved the day."

Emma placed her hands on Killian's shoulder – it was one of the only G-rated ways for Rapunzel to show affection for Flynn – and she replied, "You're right, Eugene. Isn't there something we can do? Such bravery ought to be rewarded."

"Well, there is the afternoon parade…" Killian trailed off to let Emma takeover the conversation.

She caught on quickly, and transitioned into hyper-Rapunzel mode, "Of course! The afternoon parade. Eugene and I have a float in the afternoon parade. Mr. Jefferson, you and Princess Grace _must_ join us. A hero and a princess deserve recognition from the kingdom."

"I don't know," Jefferson began doubtfully.

Emma interrupted any argument with a firm, but polite, "Please! It's the least we could do!"

"But what about the logistics?" he countered.

"We'll take care of it," Killian spoke resolutely.

"Well, who am I to argue with royalty, eh Grace?" Jefferson joked. Grace grinned from ear to ear, and everyone watching her started to smile, too. She had the textbook definition of a contagious smile.

"Yay!" Emma squealed. "We'll have a manager you meet you here at 2:30. You're going to love the parade! _Both_ of you." Grace started jumping up and down in anticipation of the afternoon's excitement. After all, she was going to have lunch with Tigger _and_ be in a parade with Rapunzel.

"Well, it looks like we've got that settled. Your Highnesses, you really should be saying your goodbyes now. Maximus and Pascal are waiting!" May suggested impatiently. She was a no-nonsense, Type A personality. Furthermore, this whole ordeal was cutting into their lunch hour.

Emma and Killian both knew better than to argue with their Character Attendant, so they waved goodbye to the crowd. She bid farewell with a simple wave and, "Goodbye! It was so nice to meet all of you." Meanwhile, he opted for a grander sendoff with a flashy wave and, "Until we meet again! Farewell, good people!"

Once the four Cast Members were safely backstage, Emma let out a groan, "God, this wig is killing me today. Does anybody have any Advil?"

"I have Aleve. Is that okay?" Ruby asked, wrapping a friendly arm around Emma's shoulders.

"Gimme, gimme!" Emma responded, opening and closing her right hand with the utmost urgency.

May rolled her eyes at Emma's antics, "Here's a bright idea, Blondie. Why don't you take the wig off before resorting to drugs?"

"Chill, May. It's Aleve, not Morphine. Let the girl self-medicate," Ruby teased. May narrowed her eyes at Ruby, as if she had just betrayed their entire friendship with that one comment.

Killian preyed on the tension and asked in a devious tone of voice, "What's the matter, ladies? Trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up, Jones," the two said in unison.

"Well, at least you two can still agree on one thing," Killian grumbled.

Emma groaned even louder, "Come on, you three. The dressing room's just around the corner. Can't you wait until I'm safely in another room before you start bickering? Headache, remember?" She pointed to her head to emphasize her point.

"Fine," they admitted in defeat. However, when they rounded the corner, they stumbled upon a most unusual sight.

The perennially happy Mary Margaret was sobbing uncontrollably into David Nolan's chest.


End file.
